No. 41 — Orienting to the Deep Season
In this solstice InSight, let's prep for the deep, dark season we’re entering, and explore why Capricorn Season is such an important time for inner work and long-form healing inquiry. I talk through how the Lodge is evolving, what to expect in 2026, and how collective data, lived experience, and self-assessment are shaping what I’m building next. This episode also introduces your new Winter Project — a layered and reflective hunt into your earliest assessments and present-day snapshot — designed to support self-respect, self-acceptance, and deeper self-understanding as we move into 2026.
In this InSight we explore:
Why winter and Capricorn season support depth exploration, integration, and wisdom extraction
The role of the Lodge as a living data field for symptoms, brilliance, and embodied learning
What to expect in the Lodge in 2026: seasonal projects, monthly Digests, and live circles
The Demon Hunt as a tool for confronting what’s been avoided, and reclaiming lost parts
The origins of the Body Compass!
Why simplifying variable language matters for real-world healing, application and accessibility
How this work supports self-respect, reduces self-rejection, and strengthens integration
Introducing your Winter Project
Vaness Henry (00:03.768)
It’s Vaness Henry, you're listening to Insights, my private podcast exclusively for community members like you. Here's my latest insight.
Vaness Henry (00:22.018)
I'm coming to the solo episode today kicking off the solstice. We're entering the deep season, the dark season. I've come to really like this season. I'm usually a fall girly, but I'm gonna be honest with you, fall was a challenging season for me this year. It can be just a very kind of magical mutative time in general and it usually is for me and I usually quite like that.
But I had some losses this year and kind of started catching up with me come fall. So I really feel like when you go into the winter season, I actually want to acknowledge there's some people here who are flipped. They're in the Southern hemisphere. So I'm just kind of speaking from my experience and where I'm at. But really, Capricorn season, this is the creature that's part goat with the hard head and can really kind of
break through the consciousness and it's also like part amphibious. It can swim down to the depths and use that powerful head to crunch through the crust. know, it's very just a creature that is going to swim to the depths. So even if we're celebrating different places, like from different places or celebrating from the North or the South, the time itself is interesting for depth exploration and self-inquiry.
And think it's a really supportive time of the year to be inquiring around that. So I have kind of come up with something different, something that I was wanting to initiate sort of like seasonal projects, if you will, because this is what I do in my personal life. And there are times where I get into little focuses of experimentation.
And I'm usually trial and erroring with that. And then I usually go and extend it to my family members, you know, I'll get the boys to do it with me and through them and understanding them or whatever came up, also helps me understand myself more. Sometimes I do these little things with friends or my mom or something, or other family members. But I thought it would be perfect for the lodge to kind of imagine this sort of seasonal red envelope, this dossier coming to you, that helps you anchor into something.
Vaness Henry (02:38.126)
The reason for that is it allows me to initiate and say, I want you to try this project or try this experiment or put yourself in this sort of play your game or whatever the subject is. And then report back to me. Let me know what you see, what happens for you. Um, there's always people in my life who have different orientation depths than me. You know, I'm, I can't be all the things. And if I don't have people in my life who are a kitchen's person or.
who are a thirst person, I don't have as high quality of learning in that thing. So many of my relationships do become subject matters from that perspective because I can't help but look at things through this type of lens and then I will often kind of, point things out as I see it. wow, that's such an example of markets. That's such an example of appetite. I'm kind of always looking at things like that.
And so when I try things for myself, I'm only learning it from one perspective. So in order to get the value out of it for me in the way that I learn and the way that I feel most satiated is to kind of extend that, to the close people in my life. So I thought if I could kind of bring that energy seasonally to the lodge, I could initiate and prompt and get certain type of feedback. So what I do with the posts that come in the lodge comments.
is I kind of depersonalize those and then I run them through my artificial intelligence to spot the most common patterns. For example, like we have a lot of intervision submissions or a lot of people give feedback around that particular sense. So I have an abundance of information on that particular sense, which then point reveals, you need a little bit more information or more examples on these senses or whatever it is I'm focusing on. as
Part of where my own brilliance comes alive is when I see multiples. That's how my pattern tracking works in the channel of logic. And it comes through when I have a high volume of information as a high sound person. So this year I was thinking, what am I able to do? Because the Lodge was formerly the wellness club. when I was for years trying to think, how could I create like a
Vaness Henry (04:55.266)
based for safe expression, communicating, and it's closed, you know, it's private. And these people need to be trained on how to speak this language to populate these examples so that we can increase the amount of examples and then share that with the world kind of thing. Because I would always get people messaging me or emailing me, hey, this is for your data, this is for your, and there's nothing I can really do with that, you know, other than have it as a story that I can tell again. But with the Lodge,
or the mutation of the wellness club becoming the lodge, once I figured out how to add this sort of communication component, was like, was an investment to do that and like an investment of energy time, but also finances and other resources and it had to make sense. And then I had to then be creative with, now, how am I going to initiate and prompt to get more information in here?
or to get more submissions. And so when I had first started it out, was like, less is more because I know I always will create too much and then I need to trim back. That's just a part of my process. I create, create, create, create, and then there's an excess and then I refine. And so I'm just going to start out with a couple areas. So I want there to be places to track symptoms. It kind of came at it from like a binary perspective, track symptoms and track brilliance, track superpowers and abilities, train people to recognize when they are
in their brilliance. And part of the health empowerment that comes through there is when they see other people with same stories or who can relate. That's amazing. Like that's really extremely valuable for learning. And I said health empowerment for like affirming the experience that you really did have. once that happens, once that acknowledgement and affirmation happens, healing can really thrive, know, and healing can be quite quick. And that's particularly what I'm interested in.
So by creating this space where people could come in and have these places to put information, I still knew I was in a need to initiate and prompt, but I couldn't make all these changes at once. And then, you know, had some things kind of go on in my personal life this year with some deaths and whatnot and some travel. And I needed to kind of, I wanted to use the retrogrades to really kind of reflect on what's working, what's not working, what am I seeing based on how people are using it.
Vaness Henry (07:17.934)
And I started to get back to a thing that I always do. love to orient around the season. These, these ideas of a seasonal project that you then want to share and talk about. And my seasons are always anchored around my, um, inter expeditions, whatever the shamanic art form is that I like to use for that season. I typically designed, um, expeditions around the themes of the season. And then I locked them away when the season changes.
And then I open it up when the season comes back. And so I always look forward to it. This season for the Solstice, the Demon Hunt opened. That's my favorite. I find this, every time I do the Demon Hunt, I'm so empowered. It is just peculiar to allow yourself to sink into this place inside where you're so powerful and empowered. Nothing can get you. Nothing can hurt you.
You're the one going out and looking for those things that you've been running from all year. If you really want to heal them, you need to acknowledge that they're there. You know, the acknowledgement, then the affirmation, the affirming comes. So the idea of this is a season to sink into the dark places within you, the places you haven't been exploring, but are there. And you know, an aspect of you knows they're there, but maybe you didn't prioritize it or have the time. You know, you went and lived each season of this year and
Each new season, new things unfolded. And as we go into the deep season or this dark season, you're kind of almost going into an internal season where
your body is going to start to transmute the experiences you had to extract a medicine that's going to transform those experiences into wisdom. And if that transmutation doesn't cure, like doesn't fulfill itself within you, you're gonna probably learn those lessons again. You know, you're gonna try again and it's gonna happen again. But sometimes you do learn the lesson and that's when the experiences transmute into wisdom. And I think the dark season,
Vaness Henry (09:22.088)
is a time where you can go in and use your second attention, use your additional senses and explore the things that you haven't made time for or that you've been running from and look them in the eye and face them so that they can also be transmuted. can extract the wisdom from them or extract the teachings from them. So I did my hunt early this year, because I could test everything before it releases. And I was like, I can't wait to do this one. I'm going to do it.
And what I like so much about the demon hunt is the beginning of the journey. The first three, four minutes is you transform into the demon hunter. so whatever you need, whatever you're going to go through in that expedition, your body is going to wrap you in some type of attire, some type of regalia. I always increase, my size always increases a lot and I'm usually wrapped in some type of leather and I have a big hat.
And once that had actually happened is when I sought out my hats in my real life. often wear a red hat. also have a blue one and the hat has become like a part of my waking reality as well. Not just my inner reality, but that I have a very big hat that I wear in my inner world and it kind of hides my face and I'm able to kind of shield my absorption abilities where I'm not absorbing so much when I have this kind of leather regalia on.
And whatever it is, excuse me, after that transformation, which is the part that I love, I love to have my form change in this and I feel very, my muscles come out and I feel very strong and masculine. That's fun. And then the second part of the sequence is you're put into some type of territory and you're going to go find a demon. People can be intimidated by that because like, what's the demon going to look like? And it can look like anything.
And it often surprises you what it will be, but whatever comes out there is just a very deep teaching. Like whatever you are hunting and confronting in yourself is like, is very powerful. This is a form of soul retrieval where you are hunting what you've been running from. When you are calling lost parts back to yourself, right? Like the reason demons can kind of happen inside is there's a spirit trying to guide you.
Vaness Henry (11:37.08)
but you're running from it. Like you don't want to learn from it. You don't want to face it. And so it starts to be kept in the shadows and things fester and it can start to become, know, this nasty side of you can come out when you're just walking on the street, you know, and all of a you turn a corner and this part, this thing jumps out at you or this, wow, this thing comes out of you. like, why did I lose it like that? I heard someone say once, where the heck did this come from? The bigger the reaction or the outburst, the emotional reaction,
the younger you were when the trauma that you were actually reacting to happened. So let's say, wow, you flat the handle on something, the younger you were, you know, you didn't integrate or process or learn or whatever that was. And that stayed with me, but I don't remember where it picked it up. So before I start telling you about this winter project, another way that I wanted to aim for communicating going forward, because I did a lot of restructuring building.
this year having to rearrange things in the way that I did it because I've been working on, like a formula in the background where, know how the gene keys are born from human design, but they, and you, you know, they're connected to it, but they're their own inherent thing. I'm going through something like that very similarly to the body variables and a certain way of, working with that information. And a lot of that.
is being developed because I've been watching people kind of like journalistically for about a decade now and then reporting and documenting what's been revealed. And so I've started putting this information in a book just because it's, again, I start to accumulate so much information. if you're taking notes and watching all the time, all of a sudden you have to like organize it. That's a big part of my process as a need motivation with a sense of action. There's this breakdown, organizing, rearranging aspect of how I make sense of things.
So when I'm like documenting and gathering a lot of data, I all of a sudden have to rework it and organize it and it kind of becomes something else. An example of this is I've always been designing these playbooks in the background for the environment and determination colors. And, um, it reaches a point where when you put it all together, it's like, I called it encyclopedia this time, because if you put all those playbooks together, it's one big, massive document of information. Um,
Vaness Henry (14:01.336)
But they were all individually created separately, you know, but holy, when you put it all together, it's just like kind of massive thing. This year was a lot of rearranging and compiling things. And in doing that, again, information starts to reveal itself. And that's where some kind of structural thing was happening on the body side of the variables. So I started entertaining this language because I don't have a g-center to find. I like the language of
compass, orientation, navigation, and I play with that a lot in my work. So I started playing with this idea of the body compass, of this way the body's variables work for each individual person. And the fact that you have these particular symptoms, that's a unique way your body expresses. You also have these specific brilliant things, you know, so it's like you have these brilliant things and vulnerable things.
if you were handed a manual to your body and you wanted to understand your subtle bodies, you wanted to understand your potential, you wanna learn your weaknesses, if you wanna be aware of these things, here's the manual you need to have. So this new thing started developing because as I started to get organized with how information came in, for example, when submissions come in in the lodge and I'm sharing all this data to my artificial intelligence and saying, these are the patterns that I'm tracking,
This is what this means. This is what that means. I'm looking if, if my pattern tracking proves itself, you know, if that is happening to multiple people or if they reveal new information and we see it somewhere else, it can be cross referenced better. And so it started to accumulate these like patterns basically where you imagine I'll probably be doing something like this for my time on the roof and may I live long enough where all of sudden I then emerge and it's like, look at this.
data like right that's when information like as it came as an ego manifestor there's an aspect to me that wants to prove things right like you have nothing to prove well if your heart is defined and it's your authority there is going to be an aspect of your energy that wants to prove something and part of the way that that expresses in me is like i don't always feel i'm the one who has to prove something but i often feel like i gather information sources
Vaness Henry (16:26.562)
that when you put them together, it simply proves itself. You know, it's like, it's like, what does this data reveal? It's an undeniable revelation, right? It's like, this is what it is. That's weird. Isn't that pattern weird? I often talk like that, especially like a lot of my work Orients in, cancer, but, sometimes like patterns reveal themselves, like on a big one was lupus and what that looks like energetically in the tones, in the senses.
And then to have people in the lodge who are, who are people who have lupus and they share what their experience is. That just proves, what some of these other patterns that like, I'm like, Hey, this is a pattern, but I don't know those people individually. So then to have someone who has that is living that comes in and says, Hey, I fit those, those patterns. That's wild. and then I'll be the first one to dispel my own. Like if I, if I think there's a pattern there and then something, some data comes in that counters it, it's like.
Like that's no, I don't feel so bonded to it. Like I have to defend it because it's like, it's just what the data reveals. Like we're here to look at what the data reveals. sounds so, as I'm getting older, I'm really realizing how conditioned I am by my journalism training. and it's like, if I went, I went to college and invested in a skill and now I, and I, a part of me thinks that everybody has that. I don't know. I think that's a second line thing.
And I'm always kind of confronted by like, my husband doesn't approach things that way. Or, my friend doesn't think of things like that. Because for a time, when I went to college, was all these type A people, and it was a very, very competitive, intense program. And all my friends became college people. So everyone in my world was the same. And everybody was a strong writer. Everybody had the same skills. So everyone in my world was that way.
And then I think I just thought that everybody does things like this. everybody documents this way or sources material this way or questions this way or pattern tracks this way. And I'm always kind of confronted now as I'm getting older with like, no, not everybody does that. Not even the people in your household do that. Having the lodge comments and having you share what goes on with you, what your symptoms are.
Vaness Henry (18:47.254)
what your brilliant moments are that you happen to even notice because sometimes it takes us time to notice those things. And having a place to go to share those is very valuable. And also, it's particularly valuable for me because it's a real life shared experience that I can then have a documentation and track. I do anonymize it though because it's not necessary to know the individual person, but what information retains is like appetite color, thirst color, caves color, mountains color, you know, or
Okay, this is what I'm not liking. Okay, I'm just gonna say it to you. The part that I find unnecessary in variable studies is this, the way we break it down with color and tone, that's where I always lose people. So I've been trying to develop, like, how could you talk about this in a way that is very simple, could be said in layman's terms? Like if somebody is sick in a hospital, I wanna be able to go talk, connect with them. I can't be...
I can't have the barrier of needing them to know human design, right? But people who speak human design could be stewards that go out and take this kind of information out there. But ultimately, if I'm going into a hospital and someone's sick and I can find out their variable depths, there's some very specific holistic empowering remedies that we could put in place for them that would radically reduce their suffering. It's putting in highly custom support.
And so how would I talk to connect with that person, let's say who doesn't know anything about human design. And that's why this idea of the body compass started to come about. Because ultimately on a big picture, as somebody who's been ill, like my motivation would be help the sick. know, like that's gonna pull at my heartstrings. And that's why I continue to look at this. And I do teach a lot around the personality side.
but there is just something about the body variables specifically that there seems to me to be a pattern of whatever the inner or outer sense is, it will exhibit symptoms when something is off and whatever your color is, is your specific way of remedying it. So depending on the arrangement of your colors and tones, there's a recipe in place. And that's not really classic human design. know, we're...
Vaness Henry (21:06.274)
I think again, everyone looking at it would see it that way, but I learned that's not true. It's not even the way it's originally taught, but I'm like, hello, we should be talking about this. So the fact that you have learned it this way and are experimenting with that is part of this kind pioneering energy. So just kind of like an end of year, good message, goodwill to you for that, for kind of going on this journey with me.
Because I do think it is about to evolve into something bigger and you're connected to that So that's just very cool to me So let's get to this kind of winter project that I want to tell you about because I'm wanting to After the restructuring that I did this year now. We're going into 2026. I want to experiment with these seasonal project Red envelope kind of energy, you know, like I'm at this case the reason of this I'm saying red envelope
my husband just opened his time capsule. I'm to tell you about that later, where in the year 2000, he and his family members started these like boxes, these like time capsule boxes where they would put stuff in it and seal it for 25 years. And it's been 20, 25. So they were opening their boxes, but the reason it's like such an impactful heartfelt moment is their mom passed away in 2011. So she only had 11 years building her box and they're going to have to open her box.
together. my God, that actually sounds really dirty. That's not how I meant it at all, but they have to open her time capsule. and we're actually heading back to the prairies this January, January, 2026, because we have a family reunion on his side. And so all the siblings are going to be there. So he and his siblings are going to open the time capsule. They're going to open their mom's box. Anyway, so he didn't keep as many things from me as I think he should have. Okay.
But there was a lot of stuff on travel, a lot on hockey, a lot of concerts, past girlfriends, family members, deaths. It was just, yeah, a lot on his, on his, sports for him. Cause he was quite competitive and had won awards. And there was just a little bit about his wife. There was a ton of his, from his kid, he kept like everything that like, I didn't know he was keeping out all these things like our kid would make for him. So that was really cute, but everything from me.
Vaness Henry (23:27.778)
was written on like red paper, which I still have, I still do it all the time, or a red card, or we cut out a red heart and I wrote a message. So he often kept like notes I had left him and they're always on red envelopes or red papers or red hearts. I thought that was so cute. She's a silly girl. Okay. So it kind of gave me this like red envelope energy. Like, Ooh, when that comes, you look at it. So I'm like, Hmm, how could I creatively create that mood?
for lodgers, like what could I do? And how can I improve upon the way I communicate and initiate this year if my goal is to be sending healthy power through my entire network? So I started to experiment with the cadence that I want to initiate at. Because I motivated, or because my authority is the ego, there's like a rhythm, there's like a heartbeat to my initiations. And once I can
like figure out that cadence for the season, can flow really well and I can pace myself appropriately according to my heartbeat. And so I wanted to do seasonal projects in the lodge to give an area of focus and experimentation and things to be sharing about. And it would always be anchored around whatever the inter-expedition was that season, because that's kind of giving you the deeper theme of the season, the deeper frequency healing that is happening when you are using your awareness and consciousness this way.
So I started to do the Lodgers Digest, which I'm very excited to see how this is going to evolve because my first love, my first job out of college was at a food magazine and a travel magazine. I've always loved environment and food. Diet and food, fun. No, diet and food, diet and environment, diet and habitat. So those are the first magazines that I worked at. It was called Fanfare Magazine Group.
And so we had a food magazine and we had a travel magazine that we created at a bi-monthly production. And so I was the one responsible for laying out the magazines and I love to lay out and organize, right? Need with a sense of action. I love to lay out and organize things in an aesthetically pleasing way. And so I wanted to develop like a little, um, like a newspaper feel a little.
Vaness Henry (25:48.138)
magazine feel, a little digest feel. And I thought the Lodgers Digest would be a cute way for me to start to gather, organize, information, send it to Lodgers so that you're informed and also initiated if you need to be initiated. So it would be then that seasonal cadence and then a monthly cadence. each, basically each season there would be the new kind of red envelope energy, this new like project for the season.
And then monthly, it's kind of reminding you about that. And here's what people are sharing in the lodge. Here's the event going on that you need to register for. I do want to do live circles more. Like I'm hoping to do see that my commitment is going to be seasonal live circles where the project can be talked about, kick off the expedition that we're doing because if there's new people or questions, also group expeditions are always very are more powerful.
there's usually a connection among the people who are in and there's shared themes that come up. Because if you gather energy together, it's going to like, like, it's going to attract to like patterns are going to reveal themselves while it's really rewarding to do privately or in an isolated manner. It's very fun to do in group settings as well. And I had tried, I had dabbled with that. So I'd like to kind of continue doing that live energy community feel throughout 2026 and kind of go on that seasonal rhythm.
with that kind of seasonal project energy. And then the Lodgers Digest would be an evolving thing that changes, that allows me to kind of lay out information in a beautiful way. So I imagine both these things are gonna evolve throughout this year and it'll be cool to see where they get to at the end of the year. Last year, not the Scorpio season that just passed, but the one before that I introduced in Viroscopes.
And my, when I was in college, my first paid gig I got was I wrote in horoscopes and, thinking back, I'm like 18 years old doing that 18, 19 doing that. had this little like, yeah. So, okay. Anyway, so that kind of Envirescopes was my way of, I, again, I have friends and people in my life who are caves, who are markets, who are kitchens, who are like, I, I watch people who actually have these, environments.
Vaness Henry (28:10.39)
And I found like, this month I keep saying this to my mountains friends. this month I keep saying this to my valleys friends. And so I started to repeat myself to my friends. I thought, and usually as like the ego authority, high sound person, if I hear myself say it I'm repeating it, I keep saying this. That's usually when I've kind of, I've tapped into something collective and not personal anymore. And I, I then usually share in a collective way.
When I first found out I was a manifestor, I, one of the first experiments I did was dating and that's, I, that's how I my husband. Um, but I had initiated a column. I found that I was an initiator and all I had to do was go after what I wanted and I was like, what the hell is that going to be like? And so I had had a, Oh, like a, what do you call it? Like a placement in college, like a work placement. We had work placements, um, throughout the year and I had placed at a, um,
newspaper and music magazine. And I was under the editor there, John, and he was very well respected in the Prairie community and just had a lot of like awards and accolades. And he was quite intimidating. And he was firm on me. And he would be like, I'm telling you this because I want you, it's to help you improve. It's not to like beat you down, you know? And it was like, oh God, it was so intimidating. But he was great. I had made a good relationship with him.
And he, could feel he respected me because I like, I took what he said and I really tried to change. Like I really tried to apply his teachings or whatever, or his suggestion or, and he wasn't my college instructor. Like he was like a real guy at the job and I was just like the fucking intern, you know? And, I called him up and cause he had all that he was in charge of all the newspapers. And I had just said, I had that point I had left working in magazine and I had pivoted hard to work in finance.
And the reason I did that, oh my God, you're getting this six line story. don't know why you're like, just tell us about our winter project. Um, anyway, I, um, had already started working in finance and I had pitched to him, what would you think about, how did I even do this? Cause he didn't ask, what would you think? And I remember I was just trying to initiate, but I sent some, I sent an email, something to the vein of a finance column targeted to millennials, um, teaching them about wealth building.
Vaness Henry (30:33.966)
you know, how would you make millennials rich? How would you, what do millennials need to know? Now this, we had already had the financial crisis, 2007, 2008, 2009. And part of like the topic was like the way we are going to orient to money is shifting. And that was a point of conversation among millennials and baby boomers at that time that baby boomers were like, these young, know, they're lazy and whatnot. So I wanted to write to those people about money. And he replied to me with like,
I wasn't like, was just kind of inquiring like, would something like this, is there a place for something like this? And he basically replied with, I can do this word count, this paper. And I was like, holy shit. I just picked up a column. So I had a column like really young out of college in the local paper and at the top with the top guy. my God. It was so fricking cool. And then I called my column young money. I'm like after a Drake song or something. I don't know.
And, it was great. I did that till I had, like, I had my kid and I was doing that and I loved having a column. I love writing on that rotation. was a bi-weekly column that I had and it was like fun little money, you know? And it also was like, you can write. you have an expertise, you know, like you're vetted by this paper. Yeah, it was really cool. And around that time, there was this thing called binders full of women, like a writer's club on through Facebook.
that connected people all throughout the world. So I would all of sudden was like just very connected with writing. And then I ended up doing, that's what led me to doing my books that I did in fiction because I was a journalist and I wanted to go into creative writing. And so I kind of had to do that bridge and it was fun. How did I get here? How did I get here? If you made it through because you're dying to hear about this project, cool. Okay. So for 2026 seasonal projects, monthly digests for the
Digest coming out on January the first, that's when the project is gonna come to you formally. But I thought because my insight comes up before that, I'm just gonna do a little explaining and what to expect. Part of this year in the prairies when I lost my Gima, we went back and kind of went through her things and I had got this paper that had been kept in her room that was getting to know our resident. Because a lot of people on this ward had dementia,
Vaness Henry (32:55.042)
You know, this helps the staff when the patient couldn't remember something, you they could queue up whatever was on their resident page. And this had like their achievements, things they love to do, their favorite season or holiday, who their family is, what their religion is. Do they have children? Like it just had all this information. So was so cool going and seeing all that, that my Gima had listed, like the things she loved to do in the past was gardening, sewing, making bread, dancing, cooking.
Bingo, knitting, crocheting. Now some of her favorite things were bingo, crafting, singing. I was like, singing? She didn't even speak. Oh my gosh, she was so quiet. What do you mean singing? I'm a singer, so anytime I hear, like how can I not know Jima was a singer? What? And then I found out that's how she met my grandpa, because he was a violin player, he was a fiddler, and they met through music? What? That's so cute, you guys. Anyway, I kept the paper because it was just like, I don't know, something about it really spoke to me.
And while we were going through her things and I was back in the prairies, I also got some of my own things and I had got my little report card, my kindergarten report card, and I was like, cute Nessie, what did this say? So when I opened this report card, I wrote out and distilled all the things that it said about my character because what that really was was an assessment where I could plug in to a system.
And the system was in reflect and evaluate me, right? Like based on how she developing this five year old child. So I wrote, I'm going to read it to you. I wrote out, I've distilled the things that were in this little report card, this kindergarten report card, including my area of improvement. And I'm reading this to you because I want you to listen to it for me now. Okay. Who did. When this little character plugged into the system and we evaluated and assessed her development, who did she become?
Do these things still apply? Can I see those things in myself now? And the area of improvement is also very revealing. So let me read this to you. There's quite a few things on here, but indulge me. So first up, she has a very good attitude and she loves circle time. Still loves circle time. Gather in a circle chat. Are you kidding me? I have literally oriented my work around this for in-person things. She plays very well with others. She loves creative role play and she socializes very well.
Vaness Henry (35:22.392)
She's incredibly charming. Love that. She's a charmer. Cute. She joins things very easily because she's an initiator, but she's very quiet and shy. She's self-confident and expresses herself very well in English and understands direction very well in French. This is something I want to talk about. I come from a French family. My mom's family comes from Paris and Belgium, and they are very Francais.
And my mom married an Englishman. he's my dad's from Austria. His family comes from Austria. So we are my, my original name is an Austrian name, but we were really raised French. And so all my aunties and uncles, my grandma, my grandpa, my family members were always speaking French and I spoke French, but I didn't speak a lot. Like I was a little bit, I was shy. And when I did speak, it was in English. And as I grew up, I am, I still have this very good ear when people speak to me in French. I.
completely understand them. But I also understand when they speak Italian, when they speak Spanish, because these languages are similar, like the parts of the word are very similar and then the endings change. if you understand like, once you understand one, it's very easy to understand others. I may not be able to pick up every single word, but she's also a taste cognition sound person. So I just also am good at language. And so people could speak to me in these different languages and I would
just reply in English, but I knew what they said, but I couldn't necessarily reply in Spanish reply in Italian. I could reply in French, but I typically don't. And so, I've been saying to the boys lately, like my son got his report card home and he needs to try harder in French. And I laughed and I was like, well, we could support you. Like we could speak French more at home. And it's funny. Like they start speaking French and I just want to reply in English. So I just think it was specifically weird.
that was written about me, expresses well in English and understands direction very well in French because that developed into like a weird thing as an adult. Okay. She loves the art center. And this is going to sound funny, but I feel like you'll appreciate it for what we do together in the lodge, but she loves the art center and she's very good with colors, shapes, numbers, patterns, and the weather. The weather.
Vaness Henry (37:45.728)
If little me would know that I grew up to be this person who, like a freak, talks to the mountains and the trees and reads the sun and the sunset and the sunrise and the clouds, like the fact that they put, she's good at patterns and weather and colors. Like, I was like, this is so funny. And then I thought, all kids must've been good at that. No, my husband was not. Okay. Back to she loves the art center and what she's good with. She's also a very good speaker, great observer, and a strong thinker.
She has excellent fine motor skills and a great imagination with acute attention to detail. This is interesting. that in my life, the intellectual side, felt looking back as maybe a little undernourished, but it's because I was very strong on the artistic side. So that's what was encouraged in me. And I had a very artistic mother. And so I was very exposed to all kinds of arts and my mom's whole family was incredibly artistic and musical and
My dad's family really appreciated the arts. So the arts always had a really high value on them in my life, but I was always good in like English writing, speaking, observing, thinking. So it's neat to see that that developed, what that developed into what it developed into. Cause it was like a raw trait that they picked up. Then, she's very eager to start her work. She's a starter. She loves to start. She follows direction very well and she's incredibly conscientious, considerate, polite.
tidy and organized. My mom thought I was such a mess. And like the fact that this is tidy and organized, I want to send it to her. I want to be like, yeah, look, but can I just look up conscientious because I feel like I've heard that. But like, what does that actually mean? Conscientious. Can she spell it? Con. She anxious. It's conscious. This is a ugly word. Okay. C O N S C I E N.
T-I-O-U-S, that's hard, okay. A person wishing to do what is right, especially to do one's work or duty very well and thoroughly relating to a person's conscience. yeah, okay. So she's like self-conscious and wants to do the right thing and she wants to do a good job on her things, love that. So it's just interesting to see those original traits, that original assessment and consider it for now.
Vaness Henry (40:06.892)
My area of improvement was in gym. She was a strong academic, but not strong in gym. Okay. The what? And it's not anything major, but it's interesting for what it is. Area of improvement. She has difficulty skipping and jumping with her feet together. Difficulty keeping her feet together. Well, well, well, well, what could this possibly mean? I think it's interesting.
that through my neuropathy, having chemo and radiation, and developing nerve damage in my brain, the part of my body that is affected is my right foot. And I developed something called foot drop. would lose control of that foot, and I would fall. And I would have really bad falls, and I would sprain my ankles really bad, but specifically on one side. So it's very interesting to see that there was something in the way I was made and grown where I was not very strong with my feet. But I was a dancer, and
The reason I got out of dance is I had the wrong body type. had a heavy chest and a little bum, but I had really good feet. And they kept saying, she has good feet, she has good feet, but wrong body type. And that was really like, my God, don't tell little girls that. But I ended up going into choreography. I did dance choreography. I organized dances for little kids and put the arrangements together and teenagers. And I was good at like designing what the performance was going to be. But I had...
wrong body type. So didn't look good to have me on stage, if that makes sense. But I was in competitive dance. I had good feet there, but it's interesting to just think there's this predisposition where something didn't develop fully properly there. And then when she went and had an intense traumatizing medicine, that's the area that was damaged. And to this day, I still have a, if I get a little bit too tired,
I developed foot drop and I dragged my foot and I just looked like a gremlin and I have to say, okay, she's going to go relax. So I'm reading you this because this is part of the winter project is to, when I present this to you kind of formally, when you get your lodgers digest, what you're going to find in there is something that is called, gives you, you want to hunt something down. it's a season of the demon hunt where we're doing depth exploration. So I'm going to task you with.
Vaness Henry (42:23.182)
tracking down, hunting down the earliest assessment you can find, whether that's college, grade 12, grade seven, kindergarten, dance class, hockey class, whatever you can track down and distill it, pull out the individual points kind of like I did and reflect on what that developed into now. What was the assessment of you when you plugged in? What does that reveal? I found some of my husband's. I want to read them to you. He gave me permission that I was allowed to do this.
Because when we were looking through his time capsule, found report cards, but he had a lot of, because he was a competitive goalie, he has a lot of like assessments of his like talent. And I think that's funny. so I have a lot of like critique of his body because they're trying to like make him improve. Cause he, he had a lot of potential and could, could have like gone far and done something with that. Had he applied himself, but I also found a
book written by his peers where all his friends wrote a line about him. I thought, Whoa, like peer review is like, that's the, that's the best, like, cause it's not coming from one person. It's like such a good, well-rounded assessment. So I want to read you part of his, he didn't want, he was like, I was like, Hey, can I take your report card and give your academic assessment? He's like, yeah, but you should take my hockey ones. he's like, I'm, I'm a natural athlete. He is.
I can make fun of it, but he is. So let's have some feedback on his body, right? Like, is this feedback on his body? And so he's a young tween here, like around the year 2000. So like, he's like not really yet a teenager, but almost, you know, he's like maybe like 10, 11, 12 that era. So he has a tendency to drop to the wrong side. What a statement, but he is perfection on his left side. What does that mean? Left side? You know, I love to read into Louise Hay.
He has an excellent stance. He's excellent at passing. He has very strong catching skills. He's very good at placing pucks. He needs to come out and challenge more. He's not going to do that. First of all, he's caves. And I just think the goalie in the net at the back of the, you know, is such a caves position. He is excellent at breakaways. When somebody comes at him and he can respond, he is strong. Like, are you kidding me? Come on. Perfect for a generator.
Vaness Henry (44:49.752)
He knows his way so well around the net. He's very strong in the net. Cave. Before practices, he should always do a shuffle and do his drills in order to perfect his movements. Cool. He's awesome at stacking pads. Stacking the pads is like when you put the like, I think the legs and the arms, like they put it all together and it like makes like a wall. He has an excellent glove hand, excellent reflexes. My advice is to work on, work in his glove a little to better keep pucks from falling out.
Blend more with your equipment. That's cool. That's a statement. That's a statement. He also has, if you learn from your coaches as fast as you do here, you will be an all-star goaltender. Derek shows such a strong willingness to learn and grasp concepts very well. If he continues to work hard and make an effort to improve on his weaknesses, he is sure to go far. I want to read the thing from his peers now, because like this is really what's revealing. That was for him. This is for me.
So he has this little book, from when he it's from 95. So he's very little. So this is like giving like the report card, but from his peers. Okay. So it's very innocent. He's good at sports. Shocking. Yeah. He likes cats. I think he had a cat at the time. I promise you, it gets better. He can play hockey. He likes pizza. He doesn't make fun of people. He's a really good soccer player. We get it. He's good at sports.
Like, why not? They all tell us. He is a really good friend. He has really good taste in clothes. He is very fashionable. He is fair. He is funny. He is kind. I'm sorry, I think this is beautiful. He is a good reader. Yeah, he's a good reader of people. That's that grew into. He is quiet and dependable. He is well-liked by others and gets along with almost everyone he comes into contact with. He is loving and thoughtful.
He loves to laugh and is thoughtful and a best friend. That's so cute. So that's like giving the impression of this like very kind, dependable child who's well liked and athletic and talented. This all still holds true in the character that he became. So that's really cool. So part of this project is to go through your shit, right? It's to like go and find what you can find. I had to go back home to my mom to find anything on me.
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and go through it, reflect on that little person, what the system was that you plugged into, how it perceived you and what it revealed. And then what did those things evolve into when you use your self-reflection now and you're the age you are now. So go back as far as you can when you are retrieving this thing. And then I'm going to be giving you this getting to know our resident page. If your life were to abruptly end and we had to take a snapshot of the details,
of what your church and religious preferences were, what clubs and organizations you belong to, who your pets are or were, who your special friends are, what music you like, what food you like. If we had to do a snapshot from right now to see what your life was at and what you had done, what your achievements were, things you traveled to, what would we see? So I've designed a little kind of sheet that I'm gonna send to you to print or to fill out and kind of put in this basic information.
the snapshot of now zoomed out what your life became and going as far back as you can to find an assessment of who you were and kind of looking at these things together to see what information is revealed and to kind of focus on this over this winter season, over this deep season, this dark season, while you're doing the demon hunt, while you're going internally for frequency healing, exploring the dark places, practicing the art of depth exploration.
Confronting things in yourself so they do not have power over you or become rotten within you and kind of doing this holistic analysis of how you're developing So I'm gonna be sending over like a little packet to you a little red envelope dossier Energy with your next lodgers digest you can expect to have that in there as have this little project to focus on and I'm wanting there to be I'm wanting you to kind of share what your findings are with me in the lodge
Now I only have this symptomology area laid out. I also have the superpowers, like your brilliance laid out. And I have this expedition log for those of us who like to journey and like to share what those experiences are to extract the medicine from them. But when it comes to the projects, kind of, I'm wondering if I'm going to, haven't decided here. That's why I'm kind of sharing this to you. I might see what happens. If there should be a place to, in the lodge to set out your findings.
Vaness Henry (49:35.326)
Or if that's not necessary because your findings might be able to naturally spill within the superpowers or symptomology areas. So I might get feedback from you and I'll let you inform me what you want around that. But the point was to give you something to initiate to initiate something, I guess, within you to kind of stop turning a blind eye and examine and review and look at.
what has, what's developing, what has happened, where we are now, where we started, and to kind of go grow into these new places. I love this season of going in and using the energy of the time of the season to go inward, use that powerful Capricornian head, mind to consciousness really, to swim down.
to these depths and discover what you find there. Ultimately, I think this helps you fall more in love with yourself. I think this reduces self-hatred. I think this increases self-love, self-respect, self-admiration. And I think that that is something that is really needed on a frequency level deep inside. And so how do we not be scared of ourselves and our own power and what we have in there? And how do we reintegrate the parts of ourself that have broken or fragmented or shattered?
And how do we heal? So you can expect this little kind of package to come and welcome you into the new year, depending on when you listen to this. And this is kind of a timestamped episode. like to do a lot of insights that are almost timeless. they could apply to kind of whenever, but I am experimenting as I'm adjusting my heartbeat and my cadence, for how I express I am, I like coming to inform about like updates. And that's not something that needs to go on my public channel.
So I'm kind of experimenting with, do I want to scale back the volume of interviews that I do and scale up solo episodes for a season and just talk through things or how projects are going, how experiments are going, what we're discovering, what we're letting go of. I think it can be fun. So it's going to be a little bit of a season of change. I already have some of the changes laid out that I want to make, but now it's kind of falling into the natural rhythm of them that they reveal because structure is really needed for growth. You know, if you are
Vaness Henry (51:58.584)
planting something and you want those plants to grow strong, sometimes putting in the wire rack to help them grab onto gives them the structure to grow and be even more fruitful and abundant. So what are the necessary structures that we can do that? I thought I was gonna come on here and do a quick little half hour. Here's your project. Here's what we're gonna be focusing on. There's gonna be some key components. And here we are. I told like a billion stories.
I just want to wish you well into the new year and over the holiday season and tell you that we're going to have some fun changes in the new year when we have our Lodge Circle gathering, when you get the next Lodgers Digest, new episodes and things that are going to be coming out. And here we are.
